Director of Oregon-filmed ‘My Dead Friend Zoe’ on why telling veterans’ stories is important

While many movies feature characters who serve in the military, it’s still relatively rare for veterans to get the opportunity to make films that reflect the reality of what it’s really like to be in uniform. Director Kyle Hausmann-Stokes wants to help fill in the gap between how Hollywood depicts veterans and what they actually experience, a goal that’s at the heart of his powerful Oregon-filmed movie, “My Dead Friend Zoe.”

“it’s hard for anybody to make a movie,” Hausmann-Stokes said in a recent interview. “We vets don’t often get to tell our own story.”

“My Dead Friend Zoe,” which opens in theaters on Friday, Feb. 28, focuses on Merit (played by Sonequa Martin-Green, of “Star Trek: Discovery” and “The Walking Dead” fame), a U.S. Army Afghanistan veteran.

The story moves back and forth between the present, when Merit is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder she’s determined not to face, and flashbacks to her time in service, when we see the friendship that formed between Merit and her fellow solider, Zoe (played by Natalie Morales).

In the present, Zoe keeps appearing to Merit, having conversations with her, despite the fact that – as Zoe notes with dark humor – she’s dead. Merit’s memories of Zoe keeps her isolated from those around her, and she stubbornly refuses to talk about her feelings, even as a Veterans Affairs group counselor (played by Morgan Freeman) encourages her to do just that.

The stakes rise when Merit’s mother (played by Gloria Reuben), implores her daughter to look after Merit’s grandfather (played by Ed Harris), a Vietnam vet who lives in a rural cabin near a lake, and whose own buried emotions make it hard for him and Merit to connect.

Hausmann-Stokes, who wrote the script with AJ Bermudez, says the film is largely based on his own experience, and his reactions to the loss of soldiers with whom he served.

While much of the story is about him, Hausmann-Stokes said, he thinks all sorts of people can relate to elements of the film.

“I always subscribe to the notion that specificity equals universality,” Hausmann-Stokes said. “We’re so much more similar than we are different, and yeah, veterans have been through something that’s unique in a lot of ways. But everybody has lost someone. Everyone has had a friendship where it’s complicated with that person, and everybody has issues with their family.”

Hausmann-Stokes joined the U.S. Army in 2001, just a month before the 9/11 attacks on the U.S. As he says in production notes for “My Dead Freiend Zoe,” during his time in the service he became known as the “battalion film guy,” secretly filming “airborne jumps, jungle warfare trainings and tank battle maneuvers, editing them into short films in my barracks room and handing out copies on VHS.”

When he was weeks away from the end of his enlistment in 2004, the Iraq war meant that his unit was going to be ordered to a 12-month combat tour in Iraq, forcing a delay in Hausmann-Stokes’ plan to get his discharge, and go to college.

But then, as he says in the production notes, Hausmann-Stokes was unexpectedly ordered to report to the colonel’s office, where he was told that he wouldn’t have to go to Iraq and could pursue his plans for a discharge and college studies.

In exchange for not deploying, Hausmann-Stokes recalled the colonel telling him that his mission was to attend the best film school in the country, develop his skills, and “be our voice. You will tell the soldier’s story.”

Hausmann-Stokes attended the University of Southern California’s prestigious film school, and has devoted himself to projects that help tell the stories of veterans and the military, including work with the Veterans Administration around challenges many veterans face, such as mental health, suicide, and homelessness.

Bringing the reality of veterans’ lives to viewers may be especially important now, at a time when relatively few people have direct experience with the military and may have stereotypical ideas about those who serve.

“Yes, there are stereotypes” about veterans, Hausmann-Stokes said. “People think we’re all hyper-conservative, or war-mongers, and that is simply not the case. Most people who join the military join for two reasons: you want to be part of something bigger than yourself, and you want to serve this country. Say what you will about different administrations and politics, but at the end of the day, we’re all incredibly fortunate to have been born in this country, compared to other places.”

Of “My Dead Friend Zoe,” Hausmann-Stokes said, “I worked very hard to make this a purple film. I really think this transcends politics. There’s not anything political about it.”

While the film features a few scenes that were filmed in Portland, much of the story takes place in Molalla, and was filmed there, in 2023.

“We shot 22 days total on this film, and 20 of those days were in Portland and Molalla, with a majority in Molalla,” Hausmann-Stokes said. The cabin where Merit’s grandfather lives was located in the Molalla area, in Clackamas County.

“I had the best experience filming in Oregon,” Hausmann-Stokes said. “I wrote the film to take place in Wisconsin (where he Hausmann-Stokes grew up), because as I said, the film is autobiographical. But Wisconsin does not have a tax incentive for filmmakers, so we kind of settled our sights on the Pacific Northwest.”

Hausmann-Stokes changed the movie to take place in Oregon, as he said, “and really embrace it.”

In addition to earning positive reviews when it premiered at Austin’s South by Southwest festival in 2024, “My Dead Friend Zoe” has also attracted attention because one of its executive producers is NFL star – and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend – Travis Kelce.

One of the film’s producer’s production company had connections to someone on Kelce’s team, Hausmann-Stokes said, and shared information about the project. Hausmann-Stokes also put together a description and sent it to Kelce.

“He’s a big supporter of veterans,” Hausmann-Stokes said of Kelce. “And it turns out that he was a big fan of Morgan Freeman. So, I guess we were lucky in that case, and Kelce decided to come aboard as an executive producer.”

Though Hausmann-Stokes has other projects in the works, he hopes audiences will turn out for “My Dead Friend Zoe” when it opens in theaters.

“We’re an indie film,” Hausmann-Stokes said. “And we’re hoping we can get people to go to theaters, and send a message to Hollywood that people are still interested in original stories.”

“My Dead Friend Zoe” opens in theaters in the Portland area on Feb. 28.